Even Celebrities Aren’t Immune To Mental Illness

The summer of 2014 hit me like a ton of bricks. I was in serious treatment for my mental health. I was at my lowest of the low. And just when it seemed like it couldn’t get any worse, my hero, Robin Williams, died by suicide. I was a wreck. My hero, the man with a similar diagnosis to me was gone. I had spent the summer learning more about him, idolizing him. He meant so much to me, and just like that, he was gone. I mourned the loss of my hero deeply. I lost a lot of faith the day he died. You see, for me he was a beacon of hope; proof that it gets better. I was shocked by his death, and so was the rest of the world. For days it was all my friends seemed to be posting about.

That summer was also the year Amanda Bynes had her breakdown. Amanda Bynes was the subject of a 5th grade research paper for me, and another childhood hero. I always loved Amanda Bynes’s movies and television series. She was one of my favorite comedic actresses. I expected with Robin Williams suicide that people would be sensitive to her breakdown; instead she was greeted with mockery. I was disgusted.

The truth was, I just had my very own breakdown, similar to Amanda’s and in some ways just as public. I expected my friends especially to be understanding with her breakdown. Instead she was the subject of memes and hateful posts. If my friends couldn’t respect a celebrity and her mental breakdown, what would make them respect mine?

I’ve been on both ends; I’ve survived suicide attempts and humiliating breakdowns. One didn’t deserve more sympathy than the other. They were both part of my mental illness; one thing that drove me to do very extreme, but similar things. The truth is I needed just as much support and love when I was feeling one way than I did the other.

Mental illness isn’t pretty. It’s an ugly monster, and can easily destroy a person. We need to show love and support during breakdowns and the ugly side of mental illness to avoid losing another soul.